Chronicles of Sadie

My Heart’s Beating For Two (Story and MP3)

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(NOTE: the link to the MP3 is in the body of this story- keep reading)

We all have spiritual gifts. Mine is wordiness. Verbosity is both my strength and my vice. My wife, Laura, says I can use two-thousand words to say what could have been said in twenty. She’s right and in a dramatic twist of cruel irony, she is the main victim of my wordiness in the story to come.

My “love language” is most definitely words of affirmation. Words are how I express myself, as well as the way I best receive someone else’s communication. Others dabble in acts of service or are obsessed with quality time, and those things are all well and good. Me? I much prefer to say what I’m feeling—or better yet, to capture my feelings through writing or music.

Enter John, the prospective new daddy. When Laura and I discovered she was pregnant, my brain instantly went into writing mode. Just for the sake of context, you should probably know that I wrote a song to propose to my wife and performed it for her amidst an extravagant plan of smoke and mirrors that landed me post-song on one knee “fixing” the crickety old piano bench where within her engagement ring had been strategically placed.

If that was not enough, I kept, organized, and had bound into an anthology as a wedding gift every single email that Laura and I had sent to each other during our dating years from the very first one up to the day that she went into the hospital with her brain aneurysm. Emails were important to us because for much of our dating relationship, we were four hours apart at different colleges. So phone calls and email were our lifelines (this was long before the age of texting, Facebook or Twitter.)

So capturing a moment is a big deal to me because I know it only comes around once in a lifetime. Rabbit-trail back to the days of early pregnancy and you can only imagine what schemes were being concocted in this wordy little mind of mine.

It didn’t take long for a song to brew within me, so I began to write it. After a few months of secret writing, I had completed it with some help from my musically-talented best friend, Jonnie W. Next, the secret plan went into production mode, for to write a song is one thing, but to have a semi-professionally-produced recording of it is far more complicated… I mean romantic.

So I began tracking the instruments in secret when Laura wasn’t around. I was working with a new production software, so it honestly took way more time than it should have—but my envisioned moment of playing this amazing song in the hospital for Laura after our new baby was born kept me completely focused on the task at hand. It would so be worth it!

The song had a story feel to it, so even though I used to be a in rock band and mostly I write worship music these days, I thought that country would be the most appropriate genre for this tune. So after finishing the demo track and editing it with my amazing friend, Jeffrey Holland, we sought out and found an awesome country-music vocalist who agreed to lay it down for me. When it was all said and done, the result was a cheesy love song called, “My Heart’s Beating For Two” that chronicled our life story up to the point of our baby entering our world. The scene was set for a tear-jerking reveal on the “big day.” If nothing else, I knew Laura would be heavily medicated, so all things pointed to my favor.

Said big day finally came on July 15th, 2008 when Sadie made her grand entrance. Mommy was doing well and things were progressing as planned. I had borrowed a portable iPod player with speakers from a friend and had prepared for the moment of all moments. Finally, all the nurses and doctors left the room and Laura and I were left with our little bundle of joy and I pulled the trigger. I set up the speakers and pushed play.

Here’s the song for your pleasure—stop and listen, but then come back for the rest of the story.

Click on the following link to hear the MP3 (should open in Quicktime or whatever media player you are using): My Heart’s Beating For Two

Much to my chagrin, about halfway through the first verse, Sadie began crying hysterically. Hmmm, hadn’t really accounted for that little possibility. So, my “brilliantly-written” stanzas were eclipsed by the illustrious sounds of new artist, Sadie Driver. What happened next was nothing less than tragic. My hopes that her medicated state would assist in the reception of the song backfired as at that exact moment, Laura’s anesthesia from surgery began to wear off and she turned a bright shade of green. Sweat instantly began pouring from her forehead and I could tell that a healthy dose of vomit was fast approaching.

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I grabbed the screaming baby, found a container, and began assisting my wife as she threw up over and over again—all the while, my beautiful song was setting a serene mood in the background. My elaborate, nine-month plan was finally “executed”—or better stated, violently slaughtered.

To be honest, it was quite amusing and when life settled a bit, Laura was finally able to hear the song—which she said she really liked (what else could she say.) But I learned a lesson I’ll never forget about the best laid plans of mice and men and John and… well, you know the rest.

You see, we can never account for the intricacies of what life will bring today. Sometimes we will be tossed about by an unexpected storm that blows in at the most inopportune time. That is the nature of life, yet we are surprised by it every time. However, whether it is anticipated or not, you can rest assured that drastic and unexpected “turns” are coming.

Appropriately, my wife’s favorite passage casts a life preserver of hope to those of us floating in seas of unexpected difficulty. Whether you turn to the right or to the left, your ears will hear a voice behind you, saying, “This is the way; walk in it. (Isaiah 30:21 NIV)

For me, the “turn” of Sadie’s outburst and Laura’s nausea seemingly shipwrecked my best intentions, but at the end of the day, what was important was still there. My wife had made it through childbirth. My little darling was healthy. We still had many days ahead to listen to my sad little song, but God had sustained us with his loving mercy no matter what storms had arisen.

So wherever you are and whatever you have planned, don’t let abrupt changes rob you of your security or your joy. Listen for the voice—he’s still speaking no matter how much screaming or throwing up may be going on around you.

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